We often see some people worries involving not being good enough in the bedroom and I thought I should share my perspective. If this only helps one but every hundred people that see this, then I think this is worth posting. Sex is pretty daunting when you don’t have much, or any, experience. In fact, sex with anyone new can be full of anxiety.
People often worry about how well they perform, how their partner will think of you naked, whether they will regret it or not, etc. I admire anyone who can go into sex with someone new, even if they are experienced, without any feelings of anxiety; however, I don’t think that’s the norm. You will have bad sex, and you will be bad in bed. That’s a given and applies to both men and women.
Sex and arousal can often be very fickle. You might try your best to have amazing sex and please your partner, and it just won’t happen. Therein lies the key though to please your partner. People who want you to have a good time and listen to what you want are the ones you want to keep around, even if they aren’t able to do so immediately.
Enthusiasm is important, but for one thing, you have to be a great listener. I have seen lots of partners who were very enthusiastic but they didn’t actually listen. So they just acted on their own desires. I’d consider communication to be the cornerstone while having first-time sex.
Many virgins or inexperienced people may be worried about performing masculinity/femininity to the degree that it maintains the ‘sexiness’ they’ve established with their partner while in the Bedroom. If they aren’t in touch and comfortable with themselves and their feelings, they may not be successful.
One thing people should realize is that sex is a life skill learned on your own by trial and error, and therefore completely unlike any other life skill where you have access to as much as you want.